


Genesis

by Marish_06



Series: A Series of Chances [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-13
Updated: 2009-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 03:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marish_06/pseuds/Marish_06
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's just best to start over from the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

So many days had passed that he had lost count, and considering his new beard and how tired he was, he figured it was about two weeks. Two weeks since he last saw her eyes, her smile, heard her voice. It was driving him insane, but with every passing day Olivia had gotten stronger. Slowly the doctors had removed whatever apparatus she had been hooked up to and her brain started to show some activity. They had taken her off the ventilator the day before and he knew it would be any day now. Any day now she would open her eyes, tell him she loved him again, and they would just move on with their lives. He was going to ask her to marry him. Once he brought her home and they had settled in with their daughter, he was going to get on one knee and ask her to be his for the rest of their lives. 

“Elliot.” 

He turned to the voice that had awakened him out of his day dreams. “Don? What are you doing here?” 

“Came to see how my best detective was doing. Any change?” 

“No.” He sighed and looked back at her. Everyone had taken turns coming to see her but the evenings and late nights had mostly been his shift. 

“When was the last time you went home? Had a decent shower? A good night’s sleep?” 

“I shower and sleep fine. Besides, she’s going to wake up soon. Someone needs to be here. I need to be here.” 

“Elliot, go home. Spend some time with your daughter. Her mother can’t be with her right now and she needs her father. You have her staying with a person that’s virtually a stranger.” 

“Maureen’s her sister. She’s not a stranger.” 

“But Kayla had never met her before two weeks ago. She knows the daycare lady better. To her Maureen is a stranger, and I’m pretty sure that at this point she could use her Dad.” 

Elliot looked at Olivia and knew she would want him to be with Kayla right now. It’s true that he had probably spent a total of five minutes with her since everything had happened. “Ok. But can you sit with her tonight?” 

“Sure. Go home. I got it covered here.” 

“Thanks…Don’t leave her alone.” 

“I won’t. Go ahead.” 

 

*~* 

Going home seemed to be exactly what he needed. After a long hot shower and a decent shave, he had taken Kayla from Maureen and she had remained clung to his body the rest of the day, grip tight on his grey T-shirt. His guess was that she missed him. She sat in his lap quietly while he ate and watched the news and eventually fell asleep against his chest. 

He stood and walked into her bedroom and laid her in her crib and simply stared at her. She looked so much like Olivia and at this point it was heart breaking. If Olivia didn’t make it he wasn’t sure he would be able to look at their daughter the same again. He loved her and always would, there was no doubt about that, but every time she smiled he knew he would think of her. He could tell already that she was going to be her mother’s spittin’ image, and her other characteristics seemed to mirror her mother as well. He just wasn’t sure if it was all Olivia or a mixture of both them. They were both so similar. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead then headed to Olivia’s bedroom to sleep. 

*~* 

The next morning he sat around the table feeding Kayla her Gerber oatmeal for breakfast. Very little of it was actually going in, and most of what went in was promptly spat out, but he kept trying nonetheless. They had been having a hard time getting her to eat ever since Olivia had been in the hospital. He supposed it was the dramatic switch from breast milk, to well, everything else, but he didn’t have a choice. The effects of the switch were starting to show. She had dropped a couple pounds, but not much, although it was enough to concern him. 

His cell phone rang and he picked it up and cradled it against his ear. “Stabler.” 

“Elliot, it’s me. She’s awake.” 

Elliot frose midway to giving Kayla another spoon of oatmeal. “I’m on my way.” 

“Elliot wait. There’s-” 

“I’ll be there in a sec. Cap. I’m on my way.” He closed the phone and stood hoisting Kayla up with him. He handed her off to Maureen and grabbed a few things before rushing out the door. 

*~*   
Elliot jogged down the hall to where Olivia’s room was and glanced at her through the small window in the door to her room. She was sleeping, and the tube that had been in her mouth had been removed. He walked in quietly and took a seat on the edge of her bed. She shifted and opened her eyes to stare at him with familiar brown eyes. 

“Hey,” he whispered to her before leaning in and covering her lips with his. He expected to feel her sink into his kiss. To have her arms come up and caress him. To feel her tongue probe his mouth. What he wasn’t expecting was the stinging flesh of his right cheek. He pulled back immediately to find wild eyes staring back at him laced with fear, anger, and confusion. 

“Who the hell are you?”


	2. Chapter 2

Elliot blinked once, twice, and then stood up and walked angrily towards the door of her hospital room. He searched around and pointed at the first hospital personnel that he saw in a white coat. 

“You. What the hell is wrong with her?” He asked, pointing back towards her room. 

“Excuse me?” The young man asked. 

“Elliot.” 

He turned to see his captain coming towards him. 

“I was hoping that I’d get back before you got here. The neurologist is on his way. He’ll explain everything.” 

“Neurologist?” he asked in disbelief. 

“Come on,” he took his arm and pulled him to sit beside him in the chairs outside of Olivia’s room. 

They sat in silence and waited for the doctor to show up. Several minutes later, he was there standing before them, extending his hand. “Mr. Stabler, I’m Dr. Heart.” 

Elliot stared at him before responding, “What’s wrong with her?” 

“Olivia is suffering from a severe case of post traumatic-retrograde amnesia.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“She doesn’t remember very much. From what I have assessed, Olivia is unable to remember the past ten or more years of her life.” 

The years that included him in her life. “How?” he asked, defeated. 

“From what I’ve read in her report it was her collision with the pavement. She hit her head very hard. This kind of Amnesia isn’t uncommon with skull fractures.” 

“So how do we fix it?” 

“That’s thing. We might not be able to fix it.” 

“What?” 

“Amnesia is a very tricky thing. Some people regain their memory in a few days. Others months or years. Some none at all.” 

“So wha-what do we do? How is… How is she supposed…” He couldn’t fathom this. He couldn’t understand this. 

“We wait and see. I’ve contacted a psychologist that specializes in dealing with patients that have abruptly lost their memory. He’s going to be administering her psychotherapy sessions and we’re going to prescribe her some Amytal for awhile to see if that does anything to help her recapture her memory. And from here on we just ease her back into her life slowly. Day by day we reintroduce a part of her life to her and we just take it from there. Remember don’t expect too much from her. Baby steps. ” 

Elliot sighed defeated. 

The doctor’s pager went off and he silenced it quickly. “I’m sorry sir, I have another patient to attend to. “ He pulled a card from his shirt pocket and handed it to Elliot. “If you have any more questions, don’t hesitate to call.” 

Elliot took the card from him and nodded. The doctor left them, and Elliot sat in silence contemplating how his life would be. “What am I supposed to do?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“She’s gone. The woman- the love of my… she’s gone.” 

“Elliot, you of all people should know not to give up so easily. Especially on Olivia. She’s a fighter.” 

“What if she doesn’t get her memory back. What am I supposed to do?” 

“Elliot… I don’t know. What I know is that she needs you right now. You know her better than any of us. If there’s anyone that can help her, it’s you. You should go reintroduce yourself to her.” 

He nodded and stood before walking hesitantly into her room. She lay in bed staring up at the television. She turned it off when she noticed him coming back in. 

“What are you doing here? Where’s Andy?” 

“Andy?” He searched his brain for a moment. “Andy Eckerson?” 

“Yea. I know he’s probably undercover, but is there some way we could reach him? I know he’d want to be here.” 

“Olivia. You and Andy aren’t together anymore. What year do you think it is?” 

“199..4?” 

He shook his head. “Liv, it’s 2008.” 

She looked at him confused, and tears filled her eyes as she tried to comprehend what her was telling her. “What about my mother? Where is she? She’d be here. Does she know I’m here?” 

He hated this. He was going to force her to relive some of the worst moments of her life. “Olivia, she died… About seven years ago.” 

At that she let out a sob and buried her face in her hands. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, and was surprised when she leaned into him as she cried. Once her tears dried she sat back up and looked up him. Something about the blue in his eyes was familiar. Comforting. 

“So, who are you?” 

“I’m your partner. We work together at the 1-6. Special victims.” 

“I was thinking about applying there. Am I any good?” 

He chuckled. “Yea, you’re alright.” 

She smiled up at him and he fell in love all over again. “Well from that kiss you laid on me when you first came in here I think we’re a little bit more than just partners.” 

“We’ve been off and on for the past couple of years.” 

“Oh. So, um. What’s your name?” 

“Elliot Stabler.” 

“Olivia Benson,” she said shaking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia gripped his forearm as they made slow, deliberate steps down the hospital floor hallway. Her doctors had insisted that she got out of bed and walked around for a bit to promote blood circulation. She didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but thank God for Elliot, because when she tried to get up and walk around on her own he had been there to catch her. He chastised her before mumbling to himself that he should have known better, and now he held her arm as she shakily made her way down the hall. As they neared her room she looked up to see a group of people approaching them. 

“Liv, these are people that we work with.” 

“Hi, I’m John Munch,” Munch said stepping forward and giving her a bouquet of flowers. 

“Thank you,” she said taking them and giving them to Elliot to hold. 

“Odafin Tutola, you can just call me Fin.” 

“Hi Fin,” she smiled, shaking his hand. 

“Casey Novak,” she said, stepping forward. 

“Nice to meet you,” she responded, reaching out to shake her hand also, but Casey broke down in tears. 

“Don’t you remember anything about me?” Casey asked. 

John wrapped his arms around Casey’s shoulders and began to lead her away. “Sorry,” he mumbled then turned his attention to Casey. 

“Sorry. We were hoping this would be a friendly visit. Nice meeting you.” Fin said before disappearing down the hall. 

“Olivia? Are you ok?” Eliot asked. 

“Can you just help me back to my room?” 

“Sure.” 

They quickly made the last few steps to her room and he helped her back into bed. “Who is she?” 

“Casey?” he asked as he covered her legs with a blanket. 

“Yea.” 

“She’s the prosecutor that handles our cases.” 

“Then why did she get so upset?” 

“You guys are-well were best friends.” 

“You couldn’t have warned me?” she asked, smacking his arm. 

“Sorry. How was I supposed to know you were going to introduce yourself to everyone? I did tell you we worked with them.” 

“Yea but you could have said something. God, she must be so hurt right now,” she said, rubbing her temples. 

“You ok?” 

“Yea. Just a small headache, and I’m tired.” She sighed. “When can I leave this place and go home?” 

“Doc says a couple more days.” 

She groaned. “I’m tired of this place. Tired of this food.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll sneak you in some goodies. How does cherry cheesecake sound?” 

“Like I think I love you. That’s my favorite.” 

“Yea I know.” 

“Oh. Glad to know that at least some things don’t change.” 

“Yea.” He watched her think quietly. “You alright?” 

“Yea. I’m Ok.” 

 

~*~ 

Elliot stepped through the door leading Olivia into her apartment. “And this is your humble abode. Kitchen, living room, your room,” he said walking by each and pointing them out. 

She looked around. “Nice. Who’s room is that?” she asked, just as the door opened. 

Maureen stepped out of Kayla’s room carrying the baby on her hip. Kayla immediately reached for her mother upon seeing her, nearly falling out of Maureen’s arm. Olivia caught her, and held her close, smiling at the baby. 

“Olivia, this is my daughter Maureen.” 

“Hi. I’m assuming I’ve met you before at some point, but it’s nice to meet you again.” She turned her attention to the baby in her arms. “And who is this little cutie?” 

He sighed. “Olivia, this is our daughter. Kayla.” 

She froze. She looked more closely at the baby and wondered why she didn’t see it at first. She had the same skin tone, same hair color, cheeks, facial structure, but her eyes were Elliot’s. She was a mother. She couldn’t believe it. She was a mother. She handed the baby over to Elliot and rushed to her bed room. Elliot handed the now crying Kayla over to Maureen and followed after Olivia. 

He knocked on her door before entering her room and sat down beside her. She swiped away a few of her tears but they continued to fall. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his embrace. “It’s going to be ok, Liv.” 

She pushed away from him. “How is this going to be ok? I don’t know who I am. I’m no longer qualified to do a job that was my- my life. I don’t even know my own daughter for God sakes! I mean I had my suspicions when my boobs were filling up with what I now know is milk, but I just thought… The doctor said that… I don’t know. What kind of mother doesn’t know her own child?” 

“Olivia, it’s not your fault. The doctor said we shouldn’t put too much pressure on you. He felt telling you about Kayla would be too much so he made something up about the breast milk.” 

“This… this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I don’t understand. One day I’m in love and thinking about marrying Andy, next thing I know I’m in the hospital. With you. I don’t even know you. And- and.” She broke down and he once again pulled her into his arms. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I thought I would be married with more kids, and a house and…what am I supposed to do?” 

“Take it one day at a time.” 

“What else haven’t you told me?” At his silence she looked up at him. “Elliot?” 

“Well you have a brother.” 

“A brother? How? My mother wouldn’t- Oh God no.” 

“He’s a good guy. He got into a little bit of trouble awhile ago, but-” 

“What kind of trouble?” 

“Sexual Assault.” 

“Of course he would be.” 

“But it wasn’t his fault. He was just involved with the wrong girl. He’s coming by on Saturday.” 

“Tell me you were going to say something before he showed up at my door.” 

“For him, yes. I would. You ok now?” 

“No. I’m tired. I think I’m going to lay down now.” 

“Alright. Well I’m going-” 

“Stay with me,” she said grabbing his arm and holding onto him when he began to pull away. 

“Ok.” 

She lay down and he lay beside her, holding her in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and sighed. “It’s going to be ok Liv. It’s all going to be ok,” he said trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her.


	4. Chapter 4

Elliot threw the file on his desk and drew his hand down over his face, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes. It had been a long three weeks. 

“Baby keeping you up?” Munch asked from his desk. 

“Yea.” 

“How’s Olivia?” 

“She’s…Ok. I guess.” 

“About as good as you’re gonna be after losing ten years of your life, huh?” 

“Something like that.” 

“So, what’s up with Kayla? I thought she was a good baby.” 

“She is. It’s just… Olivia never weaned her before the accident, so she’s not exactly eating, but she’s hungry and cranky, and it’s starting to drive me crazy.” 

“Why can’t Olivia just nurse her? It’s her kid,” Fin piped up from his desk. 

“What if somebody asked you if some kid can suck on your nipple. How comfortable would you feel about that?” John questioned. 

“It’s not some kid. It’s her kid.” 

“Yea, a kid she knows nothing about,” John countered. 

“That, and she hasn’t been cleared by the doctor to resume nursing yet, especially with the medications she has been taking. She gets that it’s her kid, and Maureen says she’s been handling her a lot, but she’s not eating properly and she’s starting to lose weight. Her doctor says I might have to meet with a nutritionist.” 

“I don’t get this. She’s not the first kid to randomly stop nursing. They don’t just stop eating.” 

“She eats the puréed food and oatmeal, but she still needs the milk, and she seemed to inherit both stubborn genes from me and Liv. She wants what she wants, and she’s not going to give up until she gets it. No matter what.” 

“Oh. Well good luck with that. Let me know if I can help,” Fin said before picking up the phone to place a call. 

Elliot nodded and stood. It was time to turn in for the day and see how long it would take tonight to win a war with an eighth month old. 

*~* 

“C’mon Kayla. Please?” he pleaded with her as if she would have sympathy for her father and take the formula-filled bottle he was offering her. He was so tired right now and he knew she was hungry. She had to be. Maureen told him that she hadn’t had dinner before she left for Kathy’s that evening. Kayla cried and pushed away the bottle, kicking and screaming her disapproval at his dinner selection. 

“Need some help?” 

He looked up to see Olivia leaning against the door post. “No offense Olivia, but I really don’t think you can do any better.” 

“Of course I can,” she replied pushing off of the post and heading towards them. “I’m her mother.” Upon seeing her, Kayla immediately stretched out her arms to her. 

“She doesn’t want formula. I don’t know what you can do to magically make her like it.” 

“I’m not going to give her formula Elliot,” she said taking her daughter from him. 

“Then what are you going to give her?” 

“I’m going to nurse her.” 

“No, that’s ok. If you’re not comfortable with that I don’t want you to put yourself out.” He stood to take Kayla from her, but she simply sidestepped him and took his place in the glider chair. 

She exposed her full breast and Kayla need no encouragement as she immediately began to suckle from her. “I want to, Elliot. She’s my baby, and she hasn’t been eating right. She’s losing weight,” she said as she stared down at her and swiped away her daughter’s tears. 

“Are you sure you can? I mean what about the drugs.” 

“Doctor cleared me at my appointment yesterday, and because I’ve been squeezing it out every day in the shower he said it was ok,” she answered, never looking up at him. She locked eyes with her baby and smiled down at her as she allowed Kayla to grip her finger. 

“Oh. Ok then. I’m gonna go… make up the couch.” 

“K,” She nodded, still not looking at him. 

He left them alone, allowing them to bond with each other, although he wasn’t sure that that was such a good idea. It wasn’t long before Olivia came back out and joined him on the a   
“Everything go ok?” He asked. 

“Yea. She fell asleep while I was nursing her.” 

“Did you burp her?” he asked, standing to do just that.

She held out an arm to stop him. “Yes. She’s fine.” 

“Good. So how’ve you been?” 

“Ok. I remember some things, but not enough to make sense of anything.” 

“It’ll come back soon.” 

“Hopefully. Thanks for helping me out so much. I really appreciate it.” 

“No problem. I’m happy to help.” 

“ So, Elliot, refresh my memory. Tell me about you. You seem like a pretty ok guy, but I still don’t know anything about you.” 

“Well…” 

~*~ 

 

Olivia wiped the tears from her eyes as she tried to contain her laughter. They had been talking for hours about anything and everything under the sun. From his kids to his childhood to her childhood to whatever else she remembered about her life. He told her about old times working together and how great their partnership had been. How he missed working with her, and how stupid some of their suspects had been. 

“God. It really sounds like we use to have a good time together.” 

“We did.” 

“Then what happened to us? You make it sound like we had this amazing relationship as partners, so you would think we were great romantically.” 

He sighed. He really didn’t want to have this conversation again. He hated this subject, but he owed her an explanation. “I cheated on you.” He looked over at her and it was like his words never fazed her. Like she already knew. 

She tilted her head to the side strands of caramel and chocolate falling into her eyes, and she easily swept them to the side. “Why?” 

He groaned. “Olivia, we already had this conversation, and it didn’t end well.” 

“I’m not going to judge you or get mad at you. I just want to know what happened,” she said solemnly. 

“Well. I had gone over to Kathy’s for dinner. It had been awhile since I’d seen them and I missed them and vice versa. I remember sitting around the table and listening to the kids tell me about what was going on in their lives and bickering and I missed it. I felt like I had left my home and I wanted to go back. I wanted that every day. I wanted to go home, and I thought about breaking up with you and asking Kathy to take me back. To see if maybe we could work something out, but I never intended to cheat on you. Never you, I would never ever do that to you.” He looked her in the eye, and watched as she swiped a tear away. “Kathy and I cleaned up together and then sat down on the couch with a couple of beers and we started talking about the kids. Things that had come up. Dickie going to summer camp. Maureen’s internship with some fashion company. Kathleen’s behavior, and eventually it turned to other stuff. I remember laughing, a lot. The next thing I knew it was the next morning and I was in bed with her, and I never hated myself more. I knew I had to tell you and it killed me inside, because I knew you wouldn’t understand. That you wouldn’t listen, and you had every right not to. I knew you would hate me and that we would break up because you didn’t deal with cheaters. You mentioned that before. It was then that I realized how much I loved you, and the thought of losing you killed me inside. I was in love with you,” he told her sincerely. 

She leaned closer to him and touched her lips tentatively to his. She paused for a moment and traced his lips with her tongue. When his lips parted she slid her tongue into his mouth and tasted him for what felt like the first time. His hand slipped into her hair and he pulled her closer to him, slipping his tongue into her mouth. She slid up onto him and straddled his lap, circling her arms around his neck. She moaned as she felt his hand slide up her bare, toned leg to caress the skin underneath her pajama shorts. His lips moved across her skin and settled on her neck. It was instinct. He knew she loved to be kissed there. She arched into him and moaned. He could feel himself getting hard, and he knew he had to stop. He couldn’t do this. Not with what he was planning to do. 

“Olivia we have to stop.” 

She continued to kiss him. “Why?” she asked between kisses. 

He slid her off of him and sat her down beside him. “I’m sorry, but I can’t take advantage of you like this.” 

“You’re not taking advantage of me. I want to,” she replied, caressing his cheek. 

“Olivia, you barely know me. If I was some random guy would you be doing this?” 

“Elliot, we’ve been living together for nearly a month. If we were dating I’m pretty sure we would have slept together already.” 

He knew she was right. He was just making excuses because of what he had to tell her. He wanted to wait a little longer, but tonight seemed to be the night. “Olivia, I’m… leaving.” 

She looked at him with confusion in her eyes. 

“Look. I know I might sound like an ass right now, but I can’t do this anymore, and I can’t put our daughter through it either.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You don’t know this, but you and I have been going through things for awhile now, and now with the accident… I just can’t do it anymore. I’m going home and I’m taking Kayla with me.” 

“What? No! You’re not taking her anywhere.” 

“Olivia, you can’t even take care of her right now. I’m not going to keep her away from you; I just think that it’s best she stay with me.” 

She stood and looked at him with pure conviction in her eyes. “Listen to me Elliot. I never expected you to stick around through this, and I don’t expect that to change now. The fact that you lasted this long surprises me. So you can go, but don’t think you can take my daughter without a fight. In fact, you can leave now, but she stays here.” She walked around the couch and to her bedroom. “If she’s not here in the morning, I’m calling the police and reporting your ass for kidnapping.” She slammed the door behind her leaving him there, stunned.


	5. Chapter 5

It was close to four in the morning and he still couldn’t believe what had just happened. He had just seen a glimpse of the old Olivia. The hard-nosed cop that didn’t take shit from anybody. The mother that would die before she let a scratch harm the perfect skin of their daughter, let alone let him, the child’s father, take her from her. 

One other thing he noticed was that he was an ass. 

A. 

Big. 

Fat. 

Ass. 

Throughout her entire ordeal he had been thinking solely about himself. How this was affecting him and what this meant for him, and in the process he forgot about her. Yes, he understood that it was hard for her, but he never thought about how it was affecting her. He figured that her only worry would be about how vulnerable she was, but he forgot to look deeper. Yes, she was vulnerable, but she was also alone and had forgotten everything that had made her her for the past eight years of her life. Everything that she had once known no longer existed and there was nothing more that she could do other than to accept it. 

As he sat there longer and longer and reflected on the past few hours he had spent with her, he remembered why he had fallen in love with her. It wasn’t that she knew him like the back of her hand or understood him better than she understood herself, it was who she was without the badge and gun. How she was witty, caring, and kind. How she could hold her liquor and joke around with the guys. How she could become incredibly sensual and seductive when she wanted to be but tough and strong at other times. Most of all, he loved that she was sexy as hell through all of it, and he loved the way she loved him. She put her whole heart into it, and when it came down to it, she wasn’t afraid to show her sensitive side. She was Olivia Benson, and despite everything that they had been through, she still held the key to his heart. 

He knew then that he couldn’t leave her. His Olivia was still there and whether or not she decided to re-appear, he knew he would be with her forever, because that was how much he loved her. Getting used to the new Olivia would be tough, and that was what sent him running in the first place, but he was now willing to put forth the effort and be with her no matter what. 

He heard her door open and light footsteps as she made her way to the kitchen. Her throat was dry from crying and she reached into the fridge to retrieve a gallon of water. She heard him come in behind her as she filled the glass. 

“What are you still doing here?” she asked without turning around. She took a long drink and nearly choked when she felt his arms circle around her waist. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her ear. 

She ignored the pull low in her belly at the feel of his warm breath on her skin. She turned around and faced him. “That doesn’t mean anything to me. You wanted to leave me when I needed you the most, and take my daughter with you. You think a simple ‘sorry’ is going to fix that?” She tried to move past him, but he spun her back and trapped her between his arms. 

“I was thinking about me and not about you. I’m so tired of being the only one fighting for us…I didn’t want to put the work into rebuilding our relationship from scratch and thought it would be easier on both of us if I just left. I wanted to take Kayla because I didn’t want to burden you with a kid that you didn’t even know.” 

“She’s my daughter.”

“I know bu-”

“My daughter Elliot. My. Daughter.” She stared deep into blue eyes while he stared deep into brown, and as she saw his fill with hope, he watched hers fill with disappointment. “I think you should go,” she stated simply. 

“Olivia.”

“If you can’t stand by me through this how the hell are we supposed to have a future Elliot?” She pushed past him and proceeded to head back to her bedroom.

“I fucked up! OK?” He yelled to her retreating back. “And I know I’m a piece of shit for doing that. And I know I keep doing it, and I’m always sorry for it every time, but you can’t remember the fact that I’ve been fighting for you for YEARS! Every time you said no. I stood and waited until you said yes. Every time you turned me away I came back. Every time you ran away from me I came running after you. Every time you fall I’m there to catch you. Every time you go in blind I always have your back and you don’t seem to realize that. You NEVER realize that!” 

She visibly softened and she turned to face him. He watched as those brown eyes filled with tears and washed away the disappointment. “How do I know? How do I know you won’t do it again? You know more about me than I know about myself. You know exactly how to hurt me. How to break me, and it’s like…”

“I don’t do it on purpose. I messed up,” he took a step toward her. “But every time I hurt you. I hurt right along with you.” Another step. “Every time you break I break right along with you.” And another. “And you make me want to be better,” He now stood before her. Merely centimeters from her, but he didn’t touch her and her body hummed with the anticipation of him doing so. “You make me think more,” he wiped away her tears. “Hope more,” he tucked a few loose wisps of hair behind her ear. “Love more.” 

“Why?” she whispered.

“Because I love you. Look, you might not get your memory back, and I accept that. I still want to be with you. I’m willing to continue this journey with you, and I admit I was an ass for bailing on you, but it won’t happen again. I promise. I can’t… I can’t lose you, Liv.” 

His lips touched hers and as much as she wanted to fight him, to hurt him the way that he had hurt her, she couldn’t. She fell into his kiss and pulled him close to her. There was no use in fighting, when this was where she wanted to be. Where she was meant to be. Trapped in his arms and surrounded by his love. Her lips parted and he could truly taste her for the first time in what felt like forever. He ran his fingers up her smooth tanned skin, his thumb brushing over her scar. A permanent reminder of how he could have lost her for good. He pulled her closer to him and only parted from her when he felt her nimble fingers reaching for his shirt. He allowed her to lift it off of him before returning to her. He loved the moans the escaped from her as he trailed kisses down her neck. 

He walked her over to the couch where he sat her down then lifted her shirt off of her. She stared up at him with desire- filled eyes and grinned at him. She crooked a finger at him and he lay her down easily beneath him. The next thing he knew they were skin to skin, heated breaths passing between them. They locked eyes as he slid inside of her and it felt like home. Her nails raked down his back as he pushed inside her, moans and desperate pleas were called out into the darkness of the night and when he felt her let go and give herself to him he did the same and came deep inside her. He shifted to lie beside her and slept with his arms wrapped around her. 

*~* 

Hours later he woke up to darkness. He could feel the warm body curled into his side and leaned down and kissed her head. He rolled off of the couch, being careful not to wake her and looked around. Maureen would be back early in the morning and he didn’t want her to find them like this. He lifted her easily off of the couch and carried her into her bedroom and tucked her into bed. He returned to the living room and removed the sheets from his makeshift bed before picking up their discarded clothes. He balled them up and tossed them into the corner of her bedroom just as she was shifting in bed. 

She sat up and rested on her elbows. “Elliot?” she called into the shadows. 

“Yea,” he answered. 

“You’re coming to bed right?” 

“Yea, why?” 

She ducked her head shyly, hoping the darkness would conceal the gesture. “N-nothing.” 

He walked over to the bed and sat down beside her. He felt for her in the dark and caressed the side of her cheek. “What’s wrong?” 

“I just… I thought you were leaving me.” 

He shook his head and tilted her lips up to his. “I’m not leaving you. Ever. I’m in this for the long run.” 

“I love you.” 

“Me too,” his breath caressed her lips and she leaned up and kissed him. 

“Make love to me.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he chuckled. 

She laughed quietly into his kiss and pulled him down against her. He slipped beneath her sheets and pressed his large, warm body against hers. He pushed inside of her and grinned when he heard her sigh. “I never get tired of hearing that.” 

“I never get tired of you making me do it.” 

He pushed deep inside her. “Good.” 

She arched her hips to meet his, falling into sync with him. “Elliot, what if I don’t ever get my entire memory back?” 

“Then you don’t get it back. I’m not here because I’m waiting for things to get better. I’m sticking around because this is where I want to be. No matter what. I was an idiot before. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just want to be with you.” He pulled back and pressed forward again. 

She moaned digging her nails into his back. “You sure,” she moaned again when he pushed even deeper. 

“There’s no place I’d rather be.” 

“I know,” she stopped and nipped at his lips. “But are you sure?” 

“More than anything else in the world,” he whispered in her ear then covered her lips with his.


	6. Chapter 6

Morning had dawned bright and early and instead of watching the sun as it rose over the horizon she had lay there and watched Elliot sleep. She loved the sun slowly highlighted his every feature and she simply stared at him. He was a good man and he loved her, and she loved him more. She wanted him in every way she could have him, as her husband and the father of her children and she would do whatever it took to get them there, she just wasn’t sure what he would do when he found out she had lied, but he needed to know. The last thing she wanted was to start their future on the base of a lie.

She used her finger to trace his lips and called his name softly into his ear. He stirred, but when he didn’t wake, she grinned and kissed him softly, nipping gently at his lips. He chuckled lightly and groaned. “I’m awake. Now what’s up?”

“We need to talk,” she said breathing fresh minty breath over his face.

He sighed deeply and finally opened his eyes. “Fine, but let me go brush my teeth. I don’t want to be the only one with stinky morning breath.” She waited for him while he brushed his teeth contemplating what she was going to say to him. He returned shortly and climbed into bed with her. “So what do you want to talk about,” he asked, but before she could say anything his lips were on hers and his tongue was in her mouth. 

She stopped him by placing her hand firmly against his chest and pushing him away gently. “Elliot, when I said I wanted to talk, I meant I wanted to actually talk.”

He sighed in disappointment. “Ok. What’s up?”

“Elliot, I’ve… I haven’t been exactly honest with you.”

“Honest? Honest about what?”

“I’ve been remembering things.”

“Well that’s not something to feel guilty about. You haven’t been hiding that you’ve been remembering stuff-”

“No, Elliot I’ve been remembering things a lot more than I’ve let on.”

He eyed her skeptically, “How much more?”

“Elliot, I remember everything.”

He looked at her with confusion in his eyes. “How long?”

“Well… Every day more and more has been coming back to me-”

“How long?”

“I’ve remembered pretty much everything for the past week.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because things were going so much better when you thought I didn’t remember anything, and…”

“And what?”

“I needed answers Elliot. Real answers and I felt that you would be more honest with me if you felt you had nothing to lose.”

“So you used your condition to manipulate me? I can’t believe this!” He threw the covers off of him and began to search the room for something to put on. 

“Elliot wait, don’t do this.”

“Don’t tell me what to do. I can’t believe you would be this- this deceitful. Just to pursue your own God dam vendetta. Y-”

“You don’t know what it’s like! For over a year now, I’ve wondered what I did wrong. Why you didn’t –couldn’t love me the way you love her. I wanted the truth Elliot, because I needed to know. We were doing so well. I thought we were heading somewhere and then you- you just fucked it all up, and I wanted to why. To this day I’m still not entirely sure, but last night was the closest that I ever gotten to a real answer.”

“Olivia I did love you. I still do. How can you not know that when I’ve been trying to get back together with you for over a year now.”

“Because you felt guilty and then you found out I was pregnant with Kayla. Of course you wanted to get back together after that. You wanted to make us a family; it’s the honorable thing to do. I wouldn’t expect any less of you.”

He stopped searching and sat on the bed beside her. “Olivia I love you. I got drunk and did a very stupid thing. It didn’t mean that I didn’t love you.”

“But you had to have felt something for her. There had to be something there, some reason-“

He silenced her with a finger over her lips. “There was nothing. There still is nothing. I love you and I want to be with you because of that. Kayla has nothing to do with it. Yes I love her and she is the light of my world, I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it, but the same goes for you, and Kayla has nothing to do with that. I would be still be here begging you to take me back even if we didn’t have her, but I’m glad we did. She’s everything good and amazing about both of us.”

“Would you really still be here if it wasn’t for her.”

“Yes, I don’t know how many times I need to say this, but I love you Olivia.”

“I love you too. Can you forgive me?”

“Yes, but only if you do one thing for me?”

She looked down and saw the beginnings of an erection. “And what exactly is that,” she asked with a sly grin.

“Marry me.”

She grinned then pulled him close and kissed him with all the love she had in her heart for him. “I take it that’s a yes.” 

“That’s a hell yes,” she mumbled against his lips.

He smiled and shifted over her and in no time he was inside her.

*~*

Elliot stretched as he stepped into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. He reached into the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice. He shook it up, unscrewed the cap and poised the carton to his lips.

“Dad use a glass,” Maureen chastised as she stepped into the kitchen. She chuckled to herself when Elliot startled and spilled juice down his bare chest. “And that’s what you get for walking around here without a shirt on.”

“Yea, yea, yea. Whatever.”

“So you and Olivia had a good time last night. You guys back together?”

“Umm…Yea. Are you ok with that?”

Maureen shrugged. “ I guess.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

“Dad, we’re both adults. I know that you love her, you have for a long time now. Whether or not I’m ok with this is not going to change anything so I’m going to deal. Yes, I’d rather see you with Mom, because you’re my parents and I want you guys to be together. But I’m also adult enough to know that I can’t always have my way and you guys are better apart than together. You both seem happier apart. I’m ok with that.”

“Ok. Well thank you for being so understanding, and thank you for all your help. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. I actually liked helping out. It gave me a chance to get to know Kayla. She’s such a little cutie,” Maureen beamed.

“Yea, she is a sweetheart,” Elliot ginned with fatherly pride. “Olivia’s actually been feeling a lot better, and I’d really like it if you stayed, but if you-”

“I’ll be out by the weekend.” 

“Please, take your time.”

Maureen chuckled. “I’m sorry Daddy, but you’re kind of… well annoying. I can’t live with you anymore. You tend to treat me like a child instead of an adult. I know you mean well, but I just think it’s best that I’m back in my dorm as soon as possible.”

“Fine, but I’m going to miss you,” he said pulling her close and kissing her temple.

“I’m going to miss you too. Especially Kayla. How come we don’t ever see her?”

“That’s not true.” Maureen stared at him daring him to lie to her again. “Ok I know, but you guys weren’t exactly thrilled when I told you she was coming and then you didn’t even come to the hospital to see her. You guys didn’t seem interested and I was too busy and stressed to bring her over. I mean I barely have time to spend with her during the week.”

“You see her, but you don’t see the rest of us.” Maureen mumbled as moved to the other side of the kitchen to retrieve a bowl.

“Excuse me?”

“Last night we were talking and we realized that none of barely see you anymore. You’re always with Olivia and Kayla, and I know you were going through a rough patch with them, but we still need you too.” She pulled down a box of Fruity Pebbles and took some milk out of the fridge. “Who’s idea were these?” Maureen asked.

“Olivia’s. The store was out of Captain Crunch so she got those, and now she loves ‘em . Look I know I haven’t been around as much as I should and I’m sorry. I’m going to make it up to you guys. I promise.” 

“How about you start with dinner? Mom told me to ask if you could join us tonight. I know everyone would love to see you, especially Dickie.”

“I’ll be there. Unless something comes up at work, but I’m going to do my best, but if I can’t make it put me down for lunch tomorrow. I have the weekend off.”  
“Ok. Thanks Daddy. I can’t wait to see you there.” She kissed his cheek and headed to her bedroom to start getting ready for the rest of the day.

Elliot poured himself a cup of coffee and spotted Olivia just as she entered into Kayla’s room. He followed her and reached the door way just as she said, “Morning Junebug. Kayla bounced happily in her crib and smiled at the sight of her mother.” Olivia lifted her easily and kissed her baby’s chubby cheek.

~*~

Olivia finished nursing and burped Kayla before placing her down on the floor and allowing her to crawl around and play with the stray toys around the room. She walked over to Elliot and helped him tie his tie.

“We should make this a regular thing.”

“Make what a regular thing?”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “Morning sex, coffee, and you tying my tie.”

“Well, maybe we can.”

“I’d really like that,” he mumbled against her lips. “Also…I’ve been invited to dinner tonight-at Kathy’s.” Olivia was visibly shaken. “I haven’t seen my kids in awhile and Maureen said that Kathy has extended an invitation and I miss them, and-”

.”Elliot they’re your kids. You don’t have to make excuses to go and see them.”

“I know. I just…I know you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset. I’m worried.”

“Look. I love you, and I just got you back. I’m not going to do anything to mess this up.”

She nodded unsurely. “Ok.” She felt a small tug on her robe and looked down to see their daughter at their feet. She lifted her and settled her on her hip. “You gotta go now or you’re going to be late for work.”

“Don’t lose faith in me.” 

“I won’t.” 

Elliot pulled on his blazer and headed for the door. Olivia and Kayla trailing behind. He turned around and kissed them both. “See you later?” he asked.

“I’ll be here.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Elliot began to walk down the hallway, but couldn’t seem to look away. “Wave bye -bye to Daddy,” Olivia cooed to their daughter, while demonstrating how to wave. Kayla waved goodbye, and Elliot couldn’t help but smile. He was the luckiest man on earth.


	7. Chapter 7

Elliot climbed up the wooden steps and rang the doorbell. It was still all so surreal, that this was no longer his home. He remembered how proud he had been to finally be able to put a down payment on a home. How ecstatic he had been when he finally paid off his mortgage. When Dickie thought he was a good enough at rollerblading to jump the steps and ended up breaking his leg. When he and his now ex-wife carried two new born babies up these very same steps and through this very threshold. He could still remember the night he finally realized that this was his home. When he could hear the soft snores of his children in their beds and his wife’s warm breath against his chest as she slept beside him. Now it’s as if it were all just dream, because now that he’s awake, this was no longer his home. 

“Elliot. Come in,” Kathy said, stepping back to allow him to enter the home. 

“Dad!” Maureen called excitedly. She ran up and wrapped her arms around him and held him close. “I’m glad you made it.” 

He held her back. “I missed you too, sweetheart.” He kissed the top of her head.

Elizabeth came down the stairs and was surprised to see her father in the living room. “Dad! Dickie, Dad’s here!” The young girl quickly bounded down the steps and into her father’s arms. “Where have you been? We’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve been busy, but I promise that I’m never going to disappear like that again.” 

“Dad!” Dickie called as he came rushing down the stairs. He tripped down the last two and stumbled a bit, but he didn’t let that stop him from reaching his father. He hugged him while his sister immediately began to catch him up on what had been going on in his life. As did his sisters. In the midst of the commotion Maureen made her way in and proceeded to help her mother set the table while her siblings talked to her father. 

“Dinner’s ready,” Kathy announced. 

“Great, I’m starved. What’s for dinner?” Elliot asked. 

“Your favorite: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas, and gravey.” 

“Can’t wait. Is there anything I can do to help?” 

“Nope. I have everything covered. Just waiting for Kathleen to come back from work. Go, spend some time with the kids. They’ve missed you.” 

He headed back into the living room and took a seat beside his son on the couch. “So what else’s been going on with you?” 

“Nothing much. Same ole, same ole.” 

“Sports?” 

“Oh! I have a basketball game tomorrow. Can you come?” 

“Of course. I’ll be there, cheering the loudest.” 

“Maybe we should leave the cheering to Lizzie. Seeing how she is the cheerleader and all.” 

“What’s wrong with my cheering?” 

“There was a reason Kathleen stopped inviting you to her games.” 

“Fine. I promise. Olivia and I will be on our best behavior.” 

“Olivia and you? You guys back together?” Lizzie asked as she came around the couch to sit on the other side of her father. 

“Yup.” 

“So you’re going to be there with her? Baby and all?” Dickie asked. 

“Yes. Unless…Are you guys uncomfortable with them being there?” 

“No. It’s just…weird.” 

“Why?” 

“Because we never see them.” Lizzie answered. “We haven’t even met Kayla.” 

“I know, and that’s my fault. I wasn’t trying to keep her from you guys. Things were just…complicated. But I still want her to get to know you.” 

“Sounds ok to me.” Dickie shrugged. 

“What about you, Liz? What have you been up to?” 

“Mostly cheerleading, but the gymnastics coach saw me perform and said I’m really good. So we’ve been training and now I’m on the gymnastics team!” 

“Congratulations…Just be careful ok?” 

“K. Will you come to some of my meets?” 

“Just let me know when and I’ll do my best to be there.” 

“Ok,” she grinned up at her father. 

“Dinner’s ready!” Kathy called as soon as Kathleen walked through the door. 

*~* 

Elliot stood and helped Kathy clear the table while the rest of the kids went to get ready for bed. He started loading the dishwasher while Kathy stored the leftover food and cleaned up the kitchen. They worked in a comfortable silence until the kids came back down to say goodnight. 

“Want something to drink?” Kathy asked as she pulled a beer out of the fridge. 

C’mon. Have a drink with me. Let’s catch up. 

“Um. No, I think I’m just gonna head home.” 

“Home. Is that your apartment, or Olivia’s?” He starred at her. “I overheard you telling the kids that you two are back together.” 

“We are.” 

“Elliot how could you take advantage of her like that? She has no memory of who you are.” 

“Kathy, why are you so concerned about this?” 

“Because I thought you were a better person than that, Elliot.” 

“I am. Olivia has her memory back, and I would never take advantage of any woman in a vulnerable situation. You know that.” 

“I know… I’m sorry. But… What about us?” 

“What about us? You wanted a divorce. We got one.” 

“What about that night?” 

“Kathy that was a mistake. We both had too much to drink and we slept together.” 

“Was it a mistake, Elliot? Maybe we still had something. We never really had a chance to explore it or even talk about it. You just ran out of here like it never happened and then the next thing I know she’s pregnant.” 

“Don’t. Kayla had nothing to do with that so don’t bring her into this.” 

“I’m sorry… I just felt that we…” 

“We what Kathy?” 

“We had another chance. That if we slept together you would change your mind.” 

He eyed her skeptically. “Kathy… did you plan that night?” 

“Elliot, I missed you. I wanted you back. I still do.” 

“Did you. Plan. That. Night?” Elliot starred at her with a steely gaze, his focus unwavering. 

“Not the way you’re thinking.” she answered, staring back at him with tear-filled eyes. 

He turned around and braced himself against the counter. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What happened that night?” 

“We were drinking and having a good time talking. It was just like before. Before all the kids and the job. You… started off with beers, and then I suggested some wine instead. We got out the cards and played a little poker. By the time we were finished you were pretty drunk so I suggested you sleep it off in our bed. One thing led to another and…we made love. It was just like the old days when everything was good between us. I thought maybe we could have that again.” 

“Why? You knew I was with Olivia, why would you do that?” 

“Because I missed you! And it wasn’t like you didn’t want to. I didn’t coax you into anything. I could see it in your eyes that night. You wanted me and our family back and I wanted you back too. I missed you. We got divorced and it was as if I no longer existed. You were all wrapped up in Olivia, the kids, and the job. You practically forgot I existed. I was still in love with you and I wanted you back, and I still do. So when the opportunity presented itself I took it!. I figured that if we slept together you would remember what we had and come back to me. But then she got pregnant, and all that flew out the window.” 

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. It’s like I’m living in some kind of fucking soap opera.” 

“Elliot, admit it. If Olivia hadn’t gotten pregnant we-” 

“No! Don’t bring my daughter into this. I love Olivia and I was in love with her then and that’s why you and I never got back together.” 

“Please. You did the same thing when I got pregnant with Maureen.” 

“No. I stuck by you because you were pregnant with Maureen. I married you because I loved you.” 

“Elliot.” 

“I need to get out of here.” 

“Elliot wait,” she reached for him, but he shrugged away her touch. 

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” He quickly grabbed his coat and headed for the door, but stopped just short of stepping through. “I’m going to Dickie’s game tomorrow. I’d appreciate it if you weren’t there.”


	8. Chapter 8

Elliot stepped into the darkened apartment and quietly closed the door behind him. He took off his coat and tossed it over the back of the couch then headed for the door with the sparkly pink “K” on it. He pushed the door open and stepped into the dark nursery. He leaned over the side of the crib and watched as the youngest Stabler slept. A part of him wanted to pick her up and hold her close. Let her know how much he loved her. How much she meant to him. How she was so much more than some link that kept him and her mother together. He instead settled for pulling her blanket up and tucking it tighter around her. 

He left and headed for the next bedroom down the hall and was surprised to find its occupant still awake. 

She looked up from her book and smiled up at him. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” he answered back solemnly. He slackened his tie and then sat on his side of the bed. 

“How was dinner?” When he didn’t answer she asked again, but still received no answer. “Elliot, is everything ok?” 

“Huh? Oh yea. It was fine.” 

She moved closer to him and was immediately hit with the smell of alcohol. “What’s wrong?” She questioned. 

“Nothing.” 

She sat quietly for a moment before voicing her suspicions. “Did you sleep with her?” 

His head immediately swung around. “What?” 

“Did you sleep with her?” 

“No.” 

“Then what’s wrong with you? You left here this morning on cloud nine and now you won’t even look at me. 

“It’s nothing for you to worry about.” 

She nodded. “Then I think you should go.” 

“What? Why?” 

“I’m not going to restart a relationship with you like this. When you’re ready to communicate with me and work at this, be sure to let me know, but otherwise I think you need to go.” 

He sighed heavily and covered his face with his hands and tried to rub away the sleep from his eyes. “She just… told me what happened that night and it just hit me harder than I would have liked.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I guess she just felt that if we slept together it would fix everything, and we’d be back together. Hearing her say that and thinking about the way things worked out. I don’t know. I guess I just wished it never happened. If it hadn’t we’d be married right now and our relationship would be so much stronger right now.” 

“El, you don’t know that. A million things could have happened.” 

“Yea, but... we were doing so well.” 

She blinked furiously to bat away the tears and he pulled her into his arms. “You’re right, but through all that we managed to find our way back to each other and this whole experience has made us stronger.” 

“I know, baby. I know. But there is so much I wish I could go back and change, and do things right again.” 

“I can’t get pregnant with her again, El. We can’t redo everything you missed. We can only move forward from here,” she said softly. “Right now there’s no point in dwelling on the past.” 

“I know,” he cooed, holding her close. She held him back and they rocked each other gently. 

She pulled back from him then looked him in the eye before covering his mouth hers. “Olivia,” he sighed into her kiss. 

“Let’s make up for lost time,” she mumbled as she shifted to straddle his waist. 

“Olivia we can’t-” 

“I know, but we can try,” she whispered against his lips and grinned. “We can also have some fun while we’re at it too.” 

He grinned back at her. So they tried, and they had fun while they were at it too. 

~*~ 

The next day, morning dawned bright and early for the couple as the sun streamed through the window. Olivia had been awake long before the sun rose. In fact, she’d never fallen asleep. Long after their lovemaking Elliot had fallen asleep and she had lain awake and thought of everything she could have done differently. She could have involved him more in her pregnancy. Reached out to him when he was clearly struggling. She could have cared more. Instead she had let another woman tear apart the one relationship she had that was worth maintaining. Elliot shifted beside her and she turned to face him. 

“Good morning,” he said to her, his voice gruff from sleep. 

“Morning.” 

“How are you doing.” 

“Fine. You?” 

“I’m trying not to think about it.” 

“Me too.” 

“Liar,” at that she smiled. “Look, Dickie asked me if I could go to his basketball game today. I’d like it if you and Kayla came with me.” 

“Elliot…I’m not that ok.” 

“I understand, but they’re my kids. I can’t let what’s happened between me and her interfere with that, and I’d really like it if you would join me.” 

She sighed. She was going to become his wife, and he did have four kids with the woman that would one day become her step kids. Eventually they were going to have to figure out how to be in the same room with each other. “Fine. I’ll come.” 

“Really?” 

“Do you want me to change my mind?” 

“No. No, I just didn’t think you would agree so easily.” 

“Well what can I say? This whole situation has changed me. Kayla has changed me, and if we’re going to be a family, we’re going to have to deal with some awkward situations.” 

He nodded. “Alright. I’ll shower first?” 

“Yea, I’ll feed and get Kayla ready,” she answered as she heard Kayla’s light babbling come over the baby monitor. 

He nodded and rolled out of bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Later that night Olivia awoke when the car came to its final stop. She looked around, slightly confused, especially when she realized they were nowhere near her apartment. 

“I’m so tired, I didn’t think we would make it to yours so I thought mine would do for tonight.” 

“As long as there’s a bed and a pillow, I’m all for it.” 

Elliot opened her door for her and she waited while he removed Kayla from her car seat and took her baby bag with him. They linked hands and headed up stairs together, both equally exhausted. Much to her relief Kathy had not been present at the basketball game, but that did not mean the tension was nonexistent. Both Dickie and Lizzie had ignored her and Kayla the entire day. Their lack of interest in their sister had bothered her, but Elliot was having a good time. It was the first time she saw him smile like that in a long time, so she wasn’t going to ruin what had been an otherwise good day with her insecurities. They arrived at his apartment and he opened the door to let her in. He closed and locked the door behind him. 

“Where’s Kayla going to sleep?” 

“You mean she can’t sleep in the bed between us?” 

“Not if she wants to live. You’ll roll over and crush her,” Olivia teased. 

“Ha ha ha. So funny. I roll over on your arm one time. ” 

“I thought I’d never be able to shoot a gun again,” she continued as she followed him to a nearby bedroom. She froze in the doorway as she watched Elliot lay her down in a crib. “What is all this?” Elliot placed the baby bag on top of the changing table in the corner and then left the room, closing the door behind him. “Elliot?” 

“It’s a room for her to stay in when she’s here.” 

“You say that like it’s something normal. Were you ever going to tell me?” 

“Look, I wasn’t getting anywhere in our relationship. I was going to be in my daughter’s life no matter what.” When he saw her eyes glisten with fresh tears he pulled her close. “I was never creating a life without you. I was just making sure she had a place in mine.” 

“I know. It’s just…Hard to see.” 

He covered her lips with his, “You will always have a place in my life too.” 

She grinned at him. “That’s good to know.” 

~*~ 

Olivia stood over the crib and watched her baby girl sleep. So much chaos, turmoil, and pain surrounded her, and yet here she slept peacefully without a care in the world. Olivia was grateful for that. At this age she didn’t know her brother and sisters didn’t like her. That her parents had a shaky relationship. That she came from a tainted bloodline. One thing she hoped she knew was how much she was loved by her parents. As messed up as everything was right now she hoped Kayla knew how much she and Elliot loved her, and how hard she was prepared to fight to make sure she was happy and safe. 

She felt hands slip around her and she leaned against his hard chest. His lips tickled the base of her neck and she grinned. “What are you doing up?” Elliot mumbled against her neck. 

She moaned softly. “Just checking on her.” 

“And?” 

“She’s fine.” 

“Good. Now come back to bed.” 

“In a minute.” 

He left her alone for a moment and she took this time to tuck Kayla in just a bit tighter and kissed her goodnight. She emerged from the room to find Elliot waiting for her. She immediately fell into his arms and allowed him to hold her. 

“What’s going on?” he asked her. 

“Nothing. Just thinking.” 

“About?” 

“Everything.” When he didn’t say anything she took his silent cue to elaborate. “Everything is so messed up right now, and I’m mad at myself for bringing her into all this. It was never supposed to be this way. I always wanted better for her, and worst of all I forgot her. I’m her mother and she’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and I couldn’t even remember that.” 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“But-” 

He squeezed her to get her attention. “It’s not your fault. You’re not the first to go through something like this and you won’t be the last. You’re an amazing mother, and I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for her.” He stepped back and gazed into her eyes, highlighted by the moonlight, and kissed her sensually. His hands moved over her body and untied the silky green robe she left there ages ago, but he never had it in him to return. He slid the silk off her body to reveal bare olive toned skin. He smiled at her and she smiled back, happy to know she’d done something right.


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia slid the last piece of chocolate cake into her mouth and looked up to see Elliot staring at her intently.

“What?” 

Tonight had been perfect. It had gone exactly how he wanted. Maureen had shown up on time to watch Kayla. He had found parking and they didn’t miss their reservation. Their food was delicious. They had played the perfect song for them to dance to, and they had romantically shared a delicious slice of chocolate cake, and now this was his moment. He didn’t understand why he was so nervous. She’d already said yes, but he wanted to do more for her than just a spontaneous proposal in bed. She deserved more. She deserved the dinner and dancing and him down on one knee. She deserved romance. So he was going to give it to her. 

He felt his left side of his breast pocket to make sure the ring was where he had left it after their dance. He had bought a new suit for the occasion. He had never owned many, only the one his father had given him to wear on the day he married Kathy. He could never really afford another and he still had it, but he couldn’t wear that when he was about to propose to another woman. So he had went out and gotten a new one. Charcoal. Simple. With a crisp white shirt underneath and a black and silver striped tie to match. A new suit for a new beginning to a new life. 

“Elliot, you ok?” 

She arched an eyebrow at him and he saw concern on her face. Probably because he had been gripping his chest all night to make sure the ring was still safe and secure, which made him think that he should have found a better place. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” 

She wore a crème silk cocktail dress that seemed to shimmer in the dim romantic lighting of the restaurant. It clung to her curves and had a sweet heart kiss top that showed the perfect amount of cleavage, enticing, but not overly revealing. It stopped at her thighs and she was all leg, which he believed couldn’t be sexier. He hardened at thought of those legs wrapped securely around his waist. Her makeup was impeccably done, and while he preferred and believed she looked perfectly fine without it, he couldn’t deny the fact that she looked gorgeous with it on. 

She grinned. “Yes. Several times in fact. What’s with you tonight?” 

It was now or never. 

He stood slowly and moved towards her then got down on one knee before her, and easily pulled out the ring. It was made of white gold and covered in diamonds. His grandmother’s. His oldest brother had gotten the house. His older sister, the china and crystal. His baby brother had gotten his grandfather’s Cadillac and his twin sister had inherited his grandmother’s pearl jewelry set. He had gotten her ring. The one that had been passed down from his great-great-grandmother, to his great-grandmother, to his grandmother and now to him. He would have given it to Kathy if it had not been for the fact that on his wedding day, seconds before he was to walk down the aisle his mother had pulled her own from her finger and shoved it into his hand. He had never been more grateful to her for that selfless act in his favor. 

He pulled the ring from the box checking to make sure that the ring had been properly inscribed. It read 

My Angel. My heart. My love. Till Death Do Us Part. 

He had added the first term of endearment. Following the tradition of those before him, and it seemed right. She had always been his angel. She had saved him from himself so many times before, had been there when he needed her most, had loved him most when he thought no one else did, and without her by his side he would not be where or who he was at that moment. The ring was made for her, and represented them. The diamonds were in the right place, representing their past, present, and future – representing forever, which was exactly how he hoped they would always be. Together. Forever. 

“I know that I’m not perfect, and you probably deserve so much better than what I can give you, but I love you and I want you by my side forever. My partner for life. So will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” 

Her eyes glimmered with tears and she allowed them to fall unchecked. He waited for her answer for what felt like forever, but it had barely been seconds. “Yes,” she answered with a nod. 

He slid it onto her finger and it fit her perfectly. Sizing would not be needed. He kissed her quickly then pulled her into his arms while the room erupted in applause. “You have always been what I wanted and all I ever needed,” she whispered into his ear and held him close. “I love you.” 

The room faded into the background and it was just them. Together. Forever…


End file.
